Just me and my heart

I love the feeling of that moment when just a microsecond before I was feeling unsure, getting agitated, wondering what the heck am I doing? Where is this going? And then BAM! It all comes together and I know exactly what I’m doing. It all just flows and feels so flippin right. Chasing that feeling is what keeps me headed to my studio every day.

That’s what my art is about. Feeling lost and alone and unsure and then not giving up or giving in to all that anxiety, fear and worry because somewhere deep inside you just hold onto the hope that somehow, someway you will come around the corner and everything will make sense in a beautiful, exhilarating way. And everything just feels right.

I chase that moment by making abstract mixed media textile art using tiny beads, natural fibers, cotton batiks, and silks.  And color.  Lots and lots of exuberant color.

The daily chase goes something like this. 

First, green tea in abundance.

Then, I get warmed up. Ease my way in. Sneak up on the muse. I write in my journal. Tidy up my desk a bit. Light a candle. Pray. I look at the works in progress all over my studio. I start to get nervous — can I make something exciting again? What if I never have a good idea again? No, don’t go down that road. I look at the pieces I’ve already done and know I have plenty more to say.

Earbuds in, music on. Look out the window, marvel at the garden, and hope for a hummingbird.

Immerse myself in the beads — the fabric — the fibers.  Everything is so lush, so alive.

I let my mind go blank. I stop thinking. I invite the flow.  

And then it's just me and my heart and the work.  

Bliss.